


Tsuki no Uta

by PsychoKillerWolf



Category: Dadaroma (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Canon Related, Canon Universe, Depressing, Emotional Hurt, Feelings, Friendship/Love, Goodbyes, Illnesses, Leaving, Light Angst, M/M, References to Illness, Sad, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-20
Updated: 2018-10-20
Packaged: 2019-08-04 09:32:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16344266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PsychoKillerWolf/pseuds/PsychoKillerWolf
Summary: Your smiling face, which looks sadder than a crying face, hides the traces of your tears in your eyelids, and if you paid attention to the night of a solitary person, we would bump into each other.orYusuke's leaving Dadaroma





	Tsuki no Uta

_Dadaroma enters hiatus_

_Drummer Yusuke will leave after their tour final at Shibuya O-WEST_

_Ryohei is selected to be the new drummer previously working at 'The black swan'_

* * *

 

The news were disheartening for all the members, too much to bear. Too unreal.. But unfortunatelly this was happening and there was nothing they could do about it.

During their one final meeting, everyone had finally accepted the truth. Tomo as always the least expressive barely talked at all while Takashi had clang onto him and Yusuke, crying his eyes out. And Yoshiatsu was painfully bitting on his bottom lip. The usually talkative and excited vocalist had lost his will to speak. He was always considered the most socially of the four during chat, interviews and messing around but when it comes to serious stuff like that he had no idea how to function at all. He and the drummer shared a very peculiar relationship and therefore he kinda forced himself to go numb in order not to break down.

And then there was Yusuke. Probably the most broken of all and yet he still managed to keep a straight face, forcing a small grin to convince the others it was gonna be ok. The band agreed to quit that behaviour and try to enjoy their time together (probably their last as a band). But as time flew by, it simply got too much. The drummer couldn't take it anymore as realisation hit him. Realisation that his life-dream was over so early, that he was no longer part of his beloved band and he was to leave his mates, his friends, his... It was not fair! It was just not fuckin' fair!

As Yusuke let his head fall into his palms, all he could feel was the warm embrace of his bandmates, all he could hear was a distant sound of comforting words hidden between his own sobs and cracking voice. "I don't want to go...I don't...!"

 

* * *

 

 

December 2018

It's been a while since the last tour, since the last time he saw everyone. They all agreed to keep in contact of course, Yusuke promised to visit the studio often but he needed some time to adapt. Was that promise even for real? Nobody called him by that name anymore anyway so it might as well not mean a thing. And yet there he was in the middle of December standing right out of where once used to be his work-room, hiding something precious into his small palms. Nothing too important just a symbolic gift for a certain man...it'd be christmas soon anyway and the other used to get obsessed over the western holiday. Thankfully, the brunette had some privileges for being a former member of Dadaroma and therefore he didn't have any trouble getting in the building. ' _Former'_... it's been many months and yet the word still doesn't seem right in his mind. 

The young man may not have had any security troubles but now for some reason he just couldn't bring himself to open a damn door. Letting out a sigh in an attempt to release the stress, he looked inside the small window near the door and his heart flipped. There they were Takashi and Tomo smiling and laughing probably at some silly joke, it looked like things hadn't changed a bit. It felt like he could just walk in and start practicing... when it didn't. As he moved a little to have a better view, Yoshiatsu joined the others and for a moment, a familiar warmth spread into the younger. Having seen the other only on pictures and videos for a while it was so overwhelming for him to actually observe the actual person once again. Only he wasn't alone. With his usual lovely smile almost blinding the silent observer, the vocalist brought an arm up and wrapped it around the shoulder that (Yusuke realised) belonged to Ryohei.

The two of them looked into eachother's eyes before joining the conversation and the former drummer had to clench his shirt because the piercing he felt on his chest was almost physical. His mind started rushing, being filled with all kinds of negative thoughts.. he thought that he and Yosh...no, that all of them shared a very deep connection, now all he can see it the pain of being replaced. He knew he had no right to feel this way when the other had to be warmly welcomed. He knew he had no place there anymore and yet the world seemed to crash onto his back once again. He told himself many times he wouldn't get emotional, he'd keep his head up straight, he'd manage. They'd be better off without him anyway.

As tears started rolling down his cheeks and over his trembling lips, he sqeezed the small gift before putting it back into the inner pockets of his jacket.

Inhaling as calmly as he could, Yusuke threw one last gaze at the window, With a broken voice and a sinking heart, he tried to whisper what he wanted to say for a long time now to the world, and to himself. Instead the words coming out of his mouth were nothing like what he had in mind and yet they still made sense.

"You look fine."

 

He couldn't keep his promise

 

**Author's Note:**

> I am depressed with Yusuke's leaving the band due to his illness so I wrote this T.T I do wish him the very best and I hope he's doing fine but it really got to me and although many people never paid much attention to him, for me he'll always be a part of the band.
> 
> So I wanted to share some of my feels with you. (Might write a second part but till then I hope you enjoyed the pain of this :3)


End file.
